We took ex-Service User to the hospital for his check-up X rays. Being positive here, I can honestly say that his capacity to sit in the waiting rooms is so much better than it was. Just a couple of forays into the subject uppermost in his mind -about being a psychopath, having committed lots of crimes and how he will be tortured forever - headed off at the pass by feeding him nuts...., He left with a discharge - sometimes that is a good word - so he is healed sufficiently, his fractured bones are mending. We headed into town for a celebratory meal...only it didn't feel that way, because within minutes of the orders being taken, ex-Service User is beginning the panic monologue again. I had been revising Solutions Focused technique, a central tenant of which is: who cares about reality (don't get caught up in he content) just look for stuff that works! So I was fairly centered and able not to get caught up in the mad spinning, but on the other hand, having to spe...
We managed to get beyond the barriers and park the car, by phoning and getting someone to swipe the keypad and let us in. So I was apprehensive about how we would get out! We arrived in time, and got to sit for about 40 minutes...waiting. I realized i felt that watching the people in the outside area is the only safe way to look at the people locked up here. Eye contact or any contact prevented by the doors and windows..I noticed how the back wall was covered in an out of focus image of a field of sunflowers. Poor Van Gogh. Then suddenly we were called into the meeting. 5 people..a nurse, someone from the home visit team, a social worker, the psychiatrist and someone else.. The psychiatrist was definitely a character from a Tim Burton movie, exuberant and light on his feet... Nevertheless, this meeting was an ordeal. Service User proved that he has 'capacity' and we the parents made it clear that we felt betrayed by the hospital, and the psychiatrist who had seen him on the t...
So how did I call to Papa Legba? And I'm sticking to my belief... Only way to make sense. How else could I have been offered this gift of the river and the maze. After he was beaten up Days full of painful, hurtful revelations. I sat here, unable to think or move. For hours. Singing: ...Mr State Trooper .....Please don't stop me ........Please don't stop me.. Pleading with life, luck and fate to open the way for me. I wanted out. I wanted out so bad. And would I have taken it? If my phone had rung. If As has now been said I heard the words "Please come!" No That is one thing I know about me... I don't let go until I'm sure. It's an ethics thing. I've done so many dumb stupid things in my past. I've learnt to stay still and think... Am I now sure? Sure that my husband really is intent on this being as bad as he has made it? That he really wants to alienate himself from us, his sons, from me? He has discovered who he thinks he really is...
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