The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Many things to say.

First thing: I wish I could remember when I first heard this song.

I felt like it was telling me something.

But I didn't recognize myself in it.

I identified with the sound of it , the energy, the rage.

Not the lyrics.

This song...

I hear it now as..

Writing on the wall.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...

The configuration of self I called 'Last year's man' is either at the end of a continuum, or is the real person. 

Last year's man is his father's son.

Yesterday I almost cracked. 

I wanted to take everything that is his back.

Put it in the car, go round at about 3:30 am when he would be asleep.

Leave it outside, behind some bushes...

I decided this impulse comes from the part of me addicted to pain.

He would hear me, see me.

Why am I thinking of this!

So

So, I let the impulse to remove all trace of his family from my house run only as far as putting some things into a box. 

Then I rearranged the kitchen

It feels quite Hipster.

We sit at the work bench gazing out at the trees..

And some letters.

Official ones.

The ones I've ignored.

Thinking, he needs to get in contact with Josh, ask him 'do I have any mail, is there anything I need to know, are you OK?

I stuffed them into a new envelope.

I stopped.

I felt my pulse.

Just over 100.

That bad.