The Unattractive Portable Head by Daughters Many things to say. First thing: I wish I could remember when I first heard this song. I felt like it was telling me something. But I didn't recognize myself in it. I identified with the sound of it , the energy, the rage. Not the lyrics. This song... I hear it now as.. Writing on the wall. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree... The configuration of self I called 'Last year's man' is either at the end of a continuum, or is the real person. Last year's man is his father's son. Yesterday I almost cracked. I wanted to take everything that is his back. Put it in the car, go round at about 3:30 am when he would be asleep. Leave it outside, behind some bushes... I decided this impulse comes from the part of me addicted to pain. He would hear me, see me. Why am I thinking of this! So So, I let the impulse to remove all trace of his family from my house run only as far as putting some things into a box. Then I r...
My daughter asked the hospital to send her a 'welcome pack'. I haven't seen it yet, she explained what it contained over the phone. To be honest it didn't seem to say very much. And one particular word used in the pack caught my attention. Alliance... Alliance is a noble aspiration, and something a set of people dedicated to caring for others shouldn't have too much difficulty in creating. So what went wrong? First thing, the psychiatrist we saw when we attended via the A+E drop-in, looked like a man who had been outside standing in the rain without a hat or umbrella for too long. That is how I summed him up at the time. This was our first experience of 'how a psychiatrist talks' to a 'patient'. Perhaps I categorized him as bored, annoyed, had enough...because of the way he spoke? It must have contributed? Anyway, a psychiatrist asks a person about recent events. The psychiatrist is interested in factual content. He is open to you...
Staying with Alien meta-story, the the way I feel right now is closer to encountering Ash than having blown the destructive, dangerous horror out of my life. I feel like I've been struggling, without believing that I was in danger. But now I see. That final lie was just too much. Why Ash? Ash was a synthetic human. My husband followed his family's programming... So my husband's 'prime objective' was pretty much the same as Ash's on the Nostromo. To maintain the 'intrusion' of the xenomorph, through secrecy and then...attempting to destroy the person who suspects the truth. People don't matter. With the xenomorph on Nostromo the crew would suffer. Likewise the happiness and wellbeing of the partners, the family don't matter. The crew do have a function, they are incubation pods for the host. Yes, what has happened to me and our family is that ugly. Incubation pods. We provided him with a compelling and powerful victim narrative. The monster gr...
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