Untangling the threads.

I believe that I have finally untangled the threads - that I’m well on my way to describing the forces that caused the pain in my therapy.

In Hegelian terms, my therapy was a tragedy. Both parties - myself as the client, he as the therapist - both of us thought that we were right. Neither of us could see the other’s reasoning as legitimate. So the only possible ending is, according to Mr Hegel, ‘the hero dies at the end’.

Now. Here I am. In the library with Tesco sandwiches, crisps and fruit juice, planning what comes next. Still alive! I have my university place in September, and so I’m beginning to focus in on the core problem that binds my traumatic experience of therapy and the catastrophic treatment of my son, by mental health services.

OK, my conclusions - start at the top level. Start with the awareness that something is wrong and the obvious answer - make a complaint!

There is a problem!

The outcome of a complaint process is to decide who has the most legitimate argument. And to protect the reputation of the profession. By handing over the power to judge what was right and wrong, both parties aware of it or not, have agreed to be bound by the outcome of that judgement. I didn’t make a complaint because I was aware of the effect complaints have on therapists, and I already felt utterly powerless. But I didn't need anyone to decide for me if my argument was legitimate. I had identified what was wrong - I felt destroyed. That is not what therapy is for. I had chosen instead a long process of opening up the crash records, to understand what had happened. I simply wanted the therapist to understand what had happened. I didn't want any judgements or punishment; I had identified a real problem and I wanted it to be taken seriously.

That did not happen.

And after I had recovered from his complaint against me - after receiving my victim statement he went to the police and complained of harassment- I began researching the outcomes of the official procedures, and it doesn’t look good.

Therapist’s feel awful on receiving a complaint, and the long drawn out complaint process has led to some people becoming suicidal.

But what happens to the client when they make a complaint?

First problem, what evidence do clients have to support their experience of harm? This makes it difficult to even fill in the complaint form. The therapist will have notes, but you had needed therapy. Most modalities of therapy begin with the premise that suffering, coming to therapy, indicates that there is something already wrong in how you see the world.

A diagnosis of BPD is of course the favourite way to blame a pathology, rather than accepting a client's ability to criticise their treatment.

So, a real humdinger of a problem!

Psychological theories are explanations that cannot be tested. Psychological theories construct the world in their own terms. For instance, one therapist’s observation of a client being resistant by not being able to ‘open up’ is another therapist’s awareness that they have asked the client the wrong question at the wrong time and probably in the wrong way. Both versions of understanding the client are true. Nor is there a way to test the validity of these opposing views. Each interpretation constructs a narrative about what has happened; about clients, about therapy. Any test to determine which version is ‘better’ will inevitably privilege the version that fits a theory of ‘better' which might not come close to any client's experience of better!

So, no complaint about therapeutic process can be judged as valid or invalid. All complaints are opportunities to discover what needs to happen now to put this right. This isn't what happens.

If a complaints process was really about improving services, taking seriously how people feel about themselves, about each other, then making a complaint would lead to conflict resolution and interpersonal mediation.

That's my aim!