Polyvagal 2.
Being as I'm locked in my bedroom whilst ex service user rages concentrating on writing my assignment is impossible...let's give the polyvagal a spin.
Imagine three emotional circuits. The oldest one evolved in fish. It runs down your back (Dorsal vagal nerve) it connects heart, breathing, guts and genitals. It can paralyze you, slow your heart so far down you hardly exist, place you in a panic so deep you can't think or move. It comes on in it's terror form, under the influence of cortisol - in other words, when fear is too much for too long.
Next circuit. This evolved in reptiles. It is core, central, and it too is wrapped around all your insides. It is either suppressed or on. If it is on, you are hyper, in fight and flight. Your heart racing, your pupils dilated, you are possibly entering into screaming mad.
Final circuit, runs down your chest, around your heart following the others, then it swerves upwards to control your face...we got this one when we became mammals. This, the ventral vagal circuit balances the middle one, slows the heart, un grips the cold hand of dorsal paralysis. It makes us human.
Right now I'm in a kind of shut down, so ex service user can't get 'face time' with me because I can't cope; several things have contributed but basically, it is as if the boat is about to sink. Just a feeling of too much...I'm not sure what state this is for me. Too much sustained stress and fear. Too much cortisol. I just can't look at him.
And, in polyvagal theory, face time is what he needs.
RSA is a measure of ventral vagal control; it is a measure of how heart rate varies between the in breath and the out breath, slowing down as we breath out, speeding up as we breath in. The greater the difference, the better the ventral vagal nerve is working...
I would like to know what mine is., under 'normal' conditions.
I'm aware that I'm here, behind the locked door because I can't take being shouted at, every seventeen seconds or so. And feeling wiped out. Totally wrecked, can't undo my fear today. It is really hard to evaluate the benefit to him of me leaving this room and absorbing what feels like abuse from him. I'm well aware of both points of view; ether he can't help it vs he is playing out some horrible pay back? All I know is somedays I'm more resilient than others and today I'm not resilient at all.
Feel like I'm wearing a rucksack full of glass shards that are working their way under my skin and into my belly, three years old, wanting the monsters to all go away.
Imagine three emotional circuits. The oldest one evolved in fish. It runs down your back (Dorsal vagal nerve) it connects heart, breathing, guts and genitals. It can paralyze you, slow your heart so far down you hardly exist, place you in a panic so deep you can't think or move. It comes on in it's terror form, under the influence of cortisol - in other words, when fear is too much for too long.
Next circuit. This evolved in reptiles. It is core, central, and it too is wrapped around all your insides. It is either suppressed or on. If it is on, you are hyper, in fight and flight. Your heart racing, your pupils dilated, you are possibly entering into screaming mad.
Final circuit, runs down your chest, around your heart following the others, then it swerves upwards to control your face...we got this one when we became mammals. This, the ventral vagal circuit balances the middle one, slows the heart, un grips the cold hand of dorsal paralysis. It makes us human.
Right now I'm in a kind of shut down, so ex service user can't get 'face time' with me because I can't cope; several things have contributed but basically, it is as if the boat is about to sink. Just a feeling of too much...I'm not sure what state this is for me. Too much sustained stress and fear. Too much cortisol. I just can't look at him.
And, in polyvagal theory, face time is what he needs.
RSA is a measure of ventral vagal control; it is a measure of how heart rate varies between the in breath and the out breath, slowing down as we breath out, speeding up as we breath in. The greater the difference, the better the ventral vagal nerve is working...
I would like to know what mine is., under 'normal' conditions.
The correlations between RSA and heart period provide additional support for the hypothesis that in individuals without psychiatric disturbances, there is a strong link between vagal regulation and the control of heart period. In previous research, we have reported that this covariation is compromised in other psychiatric disorders that have difficulties in regulating behavior (Sahar et al., 2001; Umhau et al., 2002). The lack of correlation between RSA and heart period for the BPD group is consistent with these studies. It is possible that the neuroception of the environment provides an invalid indicator of risk for individuals with BPD. Thus, rather than being calm in the presence of another “nonthreatening” human, the autonomic nervous system is regulated to a state that supports fight or flight and not a state that would support spontaneous social engagement.stimuli accurately describes individuals with BPD, it may partially explain why BPD patients have a variety of poor outcomes, especially related to social relationships and emotional instability in real-world situations.
Porges, Stephen W.. The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) . W. W. Norton & Company. Kindle Edition.Basically, ex service user is effectively stuck in BPD (borderline personality disorder) until his ventral vagal system over rides the older systems,
I'm aware that I'm here, behind the locked door because I can't take being shouted at, every seventeen seconds or so. And feeling wiped out. Totally wrecked, can't undo my fear today. It is really hard to evaluate the benefit to him of me leaving this room and absorbing what feels like abuse from him. I'm well aware of both points of view; ether he can't help it vs he is playing out some horrible pay back? All I know is somedays I'm more resilient than others and today I'm not resilient at all.
Feel like I'm wearing a rucksack full of glass shards that are working their way under my skin and into my belly, three years old, wanting the monsters to all go away.
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