Character disturbance.

So...I am very confused and don't know how to move forward.
At times like these it is best to ask the question.
What do I think is true?

I think that a person who has frazzled his brain with class A drugs, and spent years in anxiety, and has inherited an 'anxious' personality learns that anxiety is self perpetuating and normal. The mechanism that turns terrifying and painful experiences into an addiction is the production of endorphins...in other words, a pathological chemical need for more anxiety.

And this addiction works, hooks in because he is addicted to endogenously produced morphine.

This appears as Service User spending all day pacing, continually walking up and down in his room despite the fracture in his pelvis. This theory means, paradoxically the hip pain is the reason he paces.
Pain produces endorphines. He isn't thinking of answers as he paces, he is deepening his negative thinking, which in turn is creating psychological pain, adrenaline, endorphins..

And when I think about this I feel sick

So you can take it from what I've said that right now I've just realized that I have to deal with this - again - and the only way is through confronting it, showing zero tolerance.

This is George Simon territory.
Service User's 'anxiety' isn't about fear...

Why not?

Even when he thought he was about to die right at the start, there just wasn't any fear...it was so strange.

My choices?
The path of peace and living with it is the path to the imaginary eternal summer fields of trips and meals out.

Can't do it.
Don't want to.

We don't have the money.
Plus, this isn't how I want to live my life!

Why do I agree with George Simon?
Because it isn't as if he doesn't know that he should not keep on walking up and down, up and down. I don't even think he would have a problem concentrating on something. It is simply that he refuses to question the imperative to allow the physical impulse to translate into movement. And a refusal to use the common sense solution of doing something else!

The agreement Service User made to find a therapist by a certain date has been broken.
So this more like a 'character disturbance' as in we are living with someone who is constantly playing some kind of 'game' to get more negative feed.

Using nothing but the evidence of actual behavior, he is following the family path of making himself disabled so that he can be looked after....I mean the pattern is exactly the same as his aunt...who went away to college, and stopped making sense walked in front of a car (similar fracture to arm), was taken to a psychiatric hospital. Threw everything away - scraping the paint off the walls, and throwing all her belongings..then stayed in bed all the time, hurt her leg, and now is 'waiting for the menopause to end' unable to walk, incontinent, all her attention on...zero.

I'd forgotten the throwing everything away part.
As my husband observed, the things he put all his time into - the 10,000 hours spent gaining skills are 'thrown away'. He wont let himself paint or draw, this feels analogous to his aunt's 'throwing away' anything that was beautiful or comfortable.

So how do I deal with this.
Rage actually.
I'm witnessing 'self harming', willful and mindless.

I chose direct confrontation and being as angry as I am.
Not mincing my words.

I remember once losing it with his granddad (who does hyper-vigilance as a Daily Mail reader - afraid of 'blacks' and 'homosexuals' who are 'ruining this country') and suddenly seeing that he liked being shouted at...

So there is something weird going on here, something I just don't get.
It means Service User gets a negative 'feed' when I am in distress or angry...
Well, so be it.

It is better he gets it from my anger than self harm