Extricate!

 So 'intrusions' are often the uncomfortable result of a process like Tesla's famous mind-only experiments. You know /  I know a lot more than I think I know, and a lot more than I would ever dare say even to myself. 

So, my mind has been plagued by images of violence actually...because I very much doubt that my husband has decided to be a 'monk' and I very much doubt that her husband is likely to say, 'oh, did you have a nice time out in the car with 'him' again after work? Would you like a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit?

No. The part of me that knows better is running the experiment, plus the sudden flash of image and things falling down or over...

Said to me EXTRICATE!

I listened, it means blocking and deleting..

And I felt really bad for doing this, like I was breaking a major vow. But if I was involved in anyway my husband would blame me (!) because I am the easy route to earth his feelings of powerlessness, guilt and shame. 

Sure it is his choice to do what ever he does and treating me like s*** when he feels bad was his preferred solution. Every bit of me (except the tiny crystal of sanity - about the size of a grain of salt - said, tell him, ask him if he is ok).

I didn't.

I'm not going to.

I'm not going to be bullied again.