TA continued...

Start with awareness.

Go to, re-framing.

This adds words.

With an emotional resonance between word and idea

'Handles' enable a shifting to take place.

It's got to have that emotional resonance though...

So I'm in the TA layer of my mind. 

Enjoying the view.

The Parent, Adult, Child metaphors.

It provides the best way to analyze dialogue, to hear where things go wrong..The antidote is for me to understand how my 'adult' self can best create a dialogue between two frightened children, or not!

Meanwhile, in the upper world of heat, light and sound, I've said no to a relationship with someone who is probably an alcoholic and of uncertain marital status. I've said no to someone who wanted me to dog sit (I couldn't face the dog food, no really!) and I've said no to providing a cover story for a person who wishes to 'stop her parents worrying' or in other words, she would like me to deceive them. Yes, she is an adult. Inevitably it is easier for all of us to become blind with the aim of avoiding the conflict that is our due, I don't think she saw that she was asking me to shoulder that conflict for her, but she was..and..Quite frankly I'm allergic to quite a few things in this world at the moment. 

Meanwhile October draws near.

My course starts on the 20th, back to the beginning for me...with new people. 

My other course on ceremony is 'parked' as I draw together the courage to call myself publicly a person who will weave words and ritual to create a something to help you transition. 

I really want to re-claim that word.

Transition...

I mean, what other word is there?

Transform.

Change.

Become...

Lammas was my 'transition' day. I built a fire big enough to scorch the tree from the heap of rubbish piled up in our garden. She had a garden full of rubbish. The memory plays like a pop-up on a page I can't even see! Her 'terrible' husband was saying to her as I sat at their kitchen table "but how did he know which was our house from the back unless he had been here before?" and she said, "Easy, he knew our garden is full of crap".

Therefore as much 'crap' as I could find, went into the flames. 

That syncing between her life and his provokes allergy; that change in vocabulary, the importing of a certain tone of voice, and that parallel buying of household electrical equipment.

Washing machine..

Vacuum cleaner...so good it was repeated so we have two machines now.

Josh identified the word "brew" (replacement for "tea") as a contender.

My favorite was the 'parental' "What is this!" said with a tone of outrage aimed at causing me to feel as if what ever I had said was truly out of order. 

Every time it was used on me I felt the barbs and sting. 

And then in my mind I'd quote the dialogue between Inanna and Neti, from Wolkstein and Kramer's retelling of the Inanna myth: 

When she entered the first gate.

From her head, the Shugurra, the crown of the steppe was removed.

Inanna asked:

'What is this?'

She was told:

'Quiet, Inanna, the ways of the underworld are perfect.

They may not be questioned.' [+]

Quiet, the ways of the Underworld are perfect...

Small victories, preserved enough of me...