Positivity as a social duty..

I get that...

From other people's blogs.

Like there is a spiritual message within suffering.

No.

Getting to movement.

Smashing the frozen

Is all the matters

Let it be rage.

Or 

Let it be story-telling. 

So, Cegvera

My sanctuary within a bitter sea of tears.

Replay memory.

Through the black light of his resentment.

Like oil on water, colours shimmer...

I find beauty.

In the pub we were served by someone who looked like a younger version of Josh.

Fear Inoculum on the juke box

I was temped to select a track...

Tool are too big

This place was empty and small

An Irish pub, few people sitting around...

Downstairs.

Into the tiny room...

When Cegvera came on

Old habits die hard

I went to the front.

The drummer reminded me of my other son...

But it wasn't that.

There is a warmth somehow.

Then

I felt and noticed.

My husband was not with me

Coldness and a sense of daggers 

He sat at the back

Blamed me 'It was too soon' he said.

Don't lie says the voice in my head as I remember...

Now, hearing the music and feeling that space all around me

The ground glass, feeling.

Inside love is bleeding.

My guts squirm, because I know...

Cegvera represents my awareness

Clarity.

I didn't even think f*** you.

You are f***ing her.

I know this...

I shifted away, following the drum.

Tracing the spirals

Ripples through space....

My love of music is me.

You have nothing to do with it.

A moment of positivity

Then and now

Despite myself...