End.

-
I woke up crying. He said he'd had enough. He took off his wedding ring. He packed his things into the car and has left. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Limerence lane.

-
Image
So how did I call to Papa Legba? And I'm sticking to my belief... Only way to make sense. How else could I have been offered this gift of the river and the maze. After he was beaten up Days full of painful, hurtful revelations. I sat here, unable to think or move. For hours. Singing: ...Mr State Trooper .....Please don't stop me ........Please don't stop me.. Pleading with life, luck and fate to open the way for me. I wanted out. I wanted out so bad. And would I have taken it? If my phone had rung. If  As has now been said I heard the words "Please come!" No That is one thing I know about me... I don't let go until I'm sure. It's an ethics thing. I've done so many dumb stupid things in my past. I've learnt to stay still and think... Am I now sure? Sure that my husband really is intent on this being as bad as he has made it? That he really wants to alienate himself from us, his sons, from me? He has discovered who he thinks he really is...
Read more

Sanctuary and asylum.

-
So, mental health triage  is a newish thing pioneered in the West Midlands. It is a team of three, the psychological assessment bit coming from an IAPT, which is - I think, don't quote me - a person with a psychology degree who has some counselling skills. Therefore a triage team seems to me to be a really good idea when things are getting out of hand and others can't cope with an individual's chaotic behaviour. A police cell is no place for someone experiencing severe panic, rage. Yet the single thing that has always been aspired to, and constantly missed, is asylum or sanctuary. A place of grounded sanity and safety. Real asylum or sanctuary doesn't exist as a ' main stream' option. There is a Home Visit chemical mist delusion of asylum, which must be better than hospital - if ex service user's experience is anything to go by...or hospital plus the chemical haze, so called medication ( the chemical lobotomy)... Real asylum would be a place...
Read more

Happy families.

-
I've just found a description I wrote and left in my G.Docs of something that happened around the 30th August 2020. I don't think I posted it here? Just in the name of being complete, of saying it all, of describing reality as I see it, this is how one Friday night was for me.. He had moved out... In the name of being civilized people (which I am not) he had invited me into his dead parent's house. --- 30th august 2020. On Friday I was meant to be nice and normal and possibly grateful as I took the invite to eat fish and chips with him. I managed OK (not normal) and I was grateful enough until I found the courage to ask him a question to which I truly needed answers. His attitude of belligerent animosity, because I was too scared to speak, caused me to have to write the words out in shaky handwriting, as the only way to focus my thoughts enough to communicate.. I was unable to speak. He read my words. His reply to my question was "No". Nothing more, other than ...
Read more