Spirit level...

You know you are in the red when...I'm talking about emotions here. I knew that I was in the red when Josh ambled downstairs at around 11 am and said, "You couldn't give me a lift could you". He had an appointment in a near by town, didn't know where he was going (despite having had the appointment weeks ago, and access to Google).

And as my hackles were still rising I answered, no and began to go on about how I'd done enough and there wasn't anything left - by way of compassion, sympathy or willingness to get in the car - and as I said it I suddenly remembered that I couldn't leave the house because I was waiting for the delivery of the new washing machine....

Oh yes, the new washing machine, how could I have forgotten that? So ! could just have said, "No Josh, sorry I'm waiting in for a delivery" instead of being my authentic, organismic, miffed self.

Anyway, right now my classmates have begun their last year and I'm not in college, and that hurts. I'm not there for good reasons. Have I ever explained them here? I think they are good reasons. Nevertheless, it hurts.