November return.

The main reason I stopped writing?
I think it was the feeling that if other people who could work out who I am read my honest words, they would feel compelled to help. I still get people telling me their theories about what could be the problem for exService User, and what could be done for him.

My answer gets easier to say each time I repeat it.

• Have you talked to him about this?
• It isn't me who needs 'help'.
• Please do all in your power to see a person, not a disorder.

The main reason is, I feel it can be seen as 'un-ethical' not to make ex-Service User get 'help. In particular, I felt that the GP friend of a friend, and the CBT therapist could not stand by and allow me 'to suffer'. I am grateful for their concern for me, but giving me advice about what ex-service User needs isn't help. It is fulfilling the dictates of various care laws that tend towards the belief that the disorder is more important than the person....

The other important reason I stopped writing is because there was nothing I could say.

There has been a parade of challenging behaviors that I cannot write about.

Also I don't really want to think about them.
The question is, how do I get to process my feelings?
Well same as ever, a set of guided meditations - and I keep a bullet journal.
I see a counsellor once a week, and she has had the courage to watch me get through things in my own way...

But now?
How are things...

I restored my hair, shaved off is practical, feels good but....I hate it.
We have been to a succession of pagan events, it being Samhain so we can say in all honesty, witches are good people.

He had accused me of being a witch before hitting me...See this page. Seems important that he meets real witches and eats cake with them, as you do!