Hierarchy of needs.
Not Maslow.
My email name is linked to this blog, so it shows up as 'me' on Google search.
I can't have that.
So what's happening?
The glimpses I get of reality are never comfortable or pleasant.
First came the realisation that exService-User would listen to me with a black, fuming, poisonous rage in his heart.
Malevolence is how it felt.
Have we negotiated through that?
Not sure.
Next comes abuse.
He self identifies as a covert narcissist and as an abuser.
I noticed that he is getting off on telling his story...
Whilst looking at me.
And there was the shameless, absence of respect for his or my dignity the other day.
As he sat at the top of the stairs, pants around his ankles.
The question is
Mad or bad?
Bad isn't the right word, but you know what I mean.
I'll put it better.
Is it unconscious or conscious behavior..
I think it is conscious and about abuse, kind of low level.
I called it out this morning, in a straight, just naming it way.
So...
What's next?
The two therapists feel that they can't reach him and advise medication - like it is my choice?
I understand their frustration, and the balance for them between feeling justified in taking money to talk to someone who is simply reciting a liturgy of things he thinks he has done wrong, would bother me too.
Basically though I doubt the helpfulness or necessity of someone hearing the answer or even the truth to get the right answer. Strikes me as spurious and simplistic thinking actually. When did you ever say thank you as another person told you how you should be...what you should think and told you the reasons why you are unhappy?
Dealing with what is,
Is the point.
Taking care of my limits and my own actions.
Oh
I hadn't said what happens when someone phones the local police station round here.
I was locked in the bathroom, exService-User had thrown the mirror down the stairs and was smashing up his room.
I sent out messages...
Husband came home
He decided to phone the police.
So, when he phoned an automated message advised him to use the police web site...
There was no person to answer.
No person answered.
So yeah, same old story.
That's why I say
Taking care of my limits and my own actions.
Is just about all there is.
My email name is linked to this blog, so it shows up as 'me' on Google search.
I can't have that.
So what's happening?
The glimpses I get of reality are never comfortable or pleasant.
First came the realisation that exService-User would listen to me with a black, fuming, poisonous rage in his heart.
Malevolence is how it felt.
Have we negotiated through that?
Not sure.
Next comes abuse.
He self identifies as a covert narcissist and as an abuser.
I noticed that he is getting off on telling his story...
Whilst looking at me.
And there was the shameless, absence of respect for his or my dignity the other day.
As he sat at the top of the stairs, pants around his ankles.
The question is
Mad or bad?
Bad isn't the right word, but you know what I mean.
I'll put it better.
Is it unconscious or conscious behavior..
I think it is conscious and about abuse, kind of low level.
I called it out this morning, in a straight, just naming it way.
So...
What's next?
The two therapists feel that they can't reach him and advise medication - like it is my choice?
I understand their frustration, and the balance for them between feeling justified in taking money to talk to someone who is simply reciting a liturgy of things he thinks he has done wrong, would bother me too.
Basically though I doubt the helpfulness or necessity of someone hearing the answer or even the truth to get the right answer. Strikes me as spurious and simplistic thinking actually. When did you ever say thank you as another person told you how you should be...what you should think and told you the reasons why you are unhappy?
Dealing with what is,
Is the point.
Taking care of my limits and my own actions.
Oh
I hadn't said what happens when someone phones the local police station round here.
I was locked in the bathroom, exService-User had thrown the mirror down the stairs and was smashing up his room.
I sent out messages...
Husband came home
He decided to phone the police.
So, when he phoned an automated message advised him to use the police web site...
There was no person to answer.
No person answered.
So yeah, same old story.
That's why I say
Taking care of my limits and my own actions.
Is just about all there is.
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