Crossroads.

I feel as if we are at a crossroads.
And I'm taking the easy way out of tomorrow - when the doctor visits - leaving my husband to deal with what ever may be coming down the line towards us.

I'm at college tomorrow, so I will come home at dinner time to see what's happened, and probably nothing will have happened or it will all have happened. Either way, I'm glad to duck out of it as much as possible because I feel as if I've dealt with most of it so far.

I'm not good at cooperative probably, but mostly I feel that I've made most of the decisions because I'm the one aware of what's happening...only because I don't look away.

It is a sore point for me because I feel crushed and unsupported.
The college provides counselling - but somehow the booking system just goes astray.
I could phone up the automated ' leave a message' side again, but is that going to be working any better than the email side?

Well, either way.
No counselling either...

Last week talking to the mental health team caused me to realize that 'the system' expects people not to take any responsibility, and simplifies the possibilities by maintaining silence. After last week I was fairly sure from what I'd been told that the psychiatrist would no longer visit. I assumed they would wash their hands of us, and wait for us to get in touch with the GP and Social Services when we eventually found ourselves unable to cope.

After the Mindfulness lady's visit, and Service User saying, 'I shouldn't have said what I said' and telling me that she was going to speak to a second doctor and perhaps a hospital stay would be arranged...

I am expecting the worst, that the outcome of tomorrow's visit will be them asking us to bring Service User to hospital, for admission.