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I've just found a description I wrote and left in my G.Docs of something that happened around the 30th August 2020. I don't think I posted it here? Just in the name of being complete, of saying it all, of describing reality as I see it, this is how one Friday night was for me.. He had moved out... In the name of being civilized people (which I am not) he had invited me into his dead parent's house. --- 30th august 2020. On Friday I was meant to be nice and normal and possibly grateful as I took the invite to eat fish and chips with him. I managed OK (not normal) and I was grateful enough until I found the courage to ask him a question to which I truly needed answers. His attitude of belligerent animosity, because I was too scared to speak, caused me to have to write the words out in shaky handwriting, as the only way to gather my thoughts. His reply to my question was "No". Nothing more, other than "I can see why it was hard for you to ask" But nothing e

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Fear Inoculum.

Vulnerability.

The void.