From Hell.
Looking back at some older posts, I came across my description of how any attempt from me to get to the truth of things, would end. His threats to walk out when I tried to talk about how I needed the truth, went beyond my threshold of endurance. I believe now that albeit unconsciously, he did this to prove his point 'that I was too mad' . And it felt like he wanted to see it this way - because this version of the truth was theirs (his and hers). She portrayed her husband as violent and irrational. And he said what about me? That I'd just go on and on, and would always be crying...I guess. And the shared fictions were important and precious for him. And devastating for me. Weaponized epistemic injustice... Otherwise known as gaslighting. It took me seven months to unravel, to get to this place. Seven months of sensing the truth, and trying not to believe it - because if I was right, it meant that I was being lied to. Seven months. And I couldn't just shut up. I wou
